hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
