this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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