If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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