i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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