Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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