One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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