i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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