Joe is yelling at the trees again.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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