help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
