After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
