In America we eat man semen.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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