I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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