Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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