Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
