i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
