My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Randomize
