ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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