first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
