I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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