Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Too much gin, very little bucket
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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