why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
