it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
