So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
