I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
