It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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