i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
