Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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