After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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