Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
