I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
smell my finger.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
