no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
it hurts more in the daytime
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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