Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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