Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
