I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
