He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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