Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
