Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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