Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
