Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Less talking, more tequila
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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