i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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