I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
