Small penises have feelings too.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
