walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
