Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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