can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
