sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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