I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
