Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You may now shotgun with the bride
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
