i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
