Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
