I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
