Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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